The Art of Noticing
Spring is birding season. As the birds migrate back to the northwoods, their songs fill the trees with happy sounds, and as I watch I can see flashes of color flitting about, sending hints of which species might be “home”. Although I do love to experience the wash of songs that fill the air in just a general sense, it is a special treat to hone in, observe, and “get to know” a species with an up-close look. Fine-tuning the focus on my binoculars, the lenses offer a deep perspective. The features, colors, and intricate makings of each bird burn a memory into my mind, and a true knowing remains. After that, I can know a species, even by just a quick flash of color in the sky.
It comes down to attunement, the art of noticing. Attunement is what brings that knowing. It is the slowing down and pause, the focusing, the entering into another creature’s world. Attunement lays a foundation for true connection to another.
I’ve watched my daughter, Vera, unknowingly practice the art of noticing with me. Once, we were brushing our teeth at the same time, when I noticed that she was carefully tracking my every move. If I brushed faster, she brushed faster. If I slowed down, she did the same. If I took the toothbrush out of my mouth, hers was out too. Adorable as she was, she instinctively practiced attunement with me. Observing, staying present with me, entering into what I was doing.
As a parent, attuning with my children is a tie that binds our hearts. It builds relationship, and brings connection.
I have found that pausing for just a moment to be with my child, entering into their sense of wonder at a butterfly passing by, or an ant sauntering along the driveway, brings delight to us both. I can’t pause for every moment, but when I do choose attunement over my agenda, there is a reward.
As they have grown, I can fine-tune my binoculars into their world by engaging in the things that are important to them. I have little background or draw to reptiles, but I do when with my son who is fascinated by them. My mechanical skills are lacking, but I can engage in a conversation about the tractor repairs that my son has completed today. Doing so brings attunement into our relationship, and connects us.
When sadness or anger bubble up, I can be with them through it. Seeking to hear and understand the why and how they feel, and attuning to their hearts, builds us even when difficult circumstances could tear us down.
I don’t always attune correctly. In fact, much of the time I am missing opportunities, or mis-attuning to what is before me. There is always room for growth, and for repair when I don’t do it well.
Fortunately, attunement is a skill I can learn and grow in. It’s the art of noticing. And as I gain more real-time practice in the feel of attunement, it gets easier to practice attunement with my children. I find that the natural world, and particularly my interactions with my horses, offer opportunities, lessons, and experiences that I can delve into and gain insights from. Seamlessly, those experiences transfer right back into my relationships.
Which is why I’d love to extend the same opportunity to you. You are warmly invited to join us out here at Healing Reins, for a time to dig in a little deeper to this practice of attunement. I find that as I understand the feel of attunement, I can more easily extend it to the people around me.
During our time here, we will take a pause on the busy in life and tune into the natural world around us. We will make time to meet our beautiful horses, and learn right along with them. And through it all, we will practice the art of noticing, otherwise known as attunement.
Here are the details:
June 12th, 2024 from 6:30-8
The Living Center at Healing Reins
Dakota, MN