Part 2: Emotional Intelligence in Action—How I Create Safety with Remy

The next morning, I returned to the field, remembering the lessons Remy had already taught me. I stood at the gate for a moment, mentally checking in: “I’m feeling a bit rushed because of everything on my to-do list, but I’m also really happy to be here.” Saying those words out loud instantly helped me feel more present and intentional.

Remy glanced up when I entered, ears swiveling toward me. Sensing that I was calmer, he ambled over without hesitation.

Why Naming Emotions Creates Safety

1. Consistency: When my inner feelings match my outward behavior, Remy isn’t met with confusing signals.

2. Trust Building: Being upfront about my emotions communicates that I am a real human, emotions and all. That builds trust.

3. Understanding Equine Emotion: Horses have emotions too, and they can sense what’s going on even when we don’t name it. But they feel safer connecting with someone who’s aware of what they’re feeling.

How I Put It into Practice

• Pause and Breathe: Before I even approach Remy, I label what I’m feeling and release tension through slow, steady breaths.

• Move Calmly: I keep my gestures smooth, my tone gentle, and my energy consistent.

• Observe and Adjust: If Remy shows signs of discomfort—shifting his weight or flicking his ears nervously—I pause to re-center myself.

As Remy and I have grown in relationship, he and I both feel an eagerness and delight to connect and interact.  We don’t both show up perfectly every time, but we continue to walk forward in our relationship.  I’ve found these moments of self-awareness ripple into the rest of my life, making me more patient at work and more present with children and family.

This is what I love about this work - it’s not insight that is thought about one minute and forgotten the next. Rather, it’s an experience that gets woven into my new way of being. Remy offered me a practice ground to become different.

By embracing “name it to tame it,” I’ve created a more mindful, reassuring space for both Remy and myself. We’ve forged a bond built on trust, understanding, and genuine emotional intelligence—proof that a little honesty and calm can transform our relationships.